Movie Review

RoboVampire: #SciFi #MovieReview

So much went on in this movie and it didn’t all seem to belong in the same movie. It begins in the basement of a drug gang and they’re putting drugs in coffins. Oh, wait no, there’s a scene before that, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll start in the basement. A bunch of beings stand around like with their arms sticking straight out.

They start to wake up and attack the bumbling drug stockboys.  Because!! The drugs are not drugs, it’s rice powder, which pisses off the vampires. Fighting ensues involving bottle rockets shooting out of the vampires’ arms, bunny hopping – yes, the vampires bunny hop, which cracked me up every time – and some martial arts.

Never fear! The wizard saves the day by sticking bits of paper on the vampires’ heads. He controls the vampires with a sword, theatric arm gestures, and bits of paper. The vampires work with the drug gang.

Cue a subplot – the ghost and the vampire. This vampire looked like an ape.

His true love is a ghost. Husband Unit said her see-through top was the only plus in the whole movie. Later she goes completely topless. Ooo! Anyway, she makes a deal to work with the wizard to be with her vampire love again. The deal doesn’t last long and I have no idea why. If you want this movie to make sense, you’ll miss out on all the fun. The ghost and vampire have sex in a ghost/vampire way. I guess that’s what it was. All the same, it made me laugh.

Another drug gang is in the movie. I wasn’t sure how they fit in exactly. Don’t think too hard about it, though. You’ll just wind up with a headache. Anyway, the bad guys capture some drug agents. One gets killed and is turned into Robocop. Another dude is hired to rescue the captured drug agents.

I know this sounds disconnected, but so was the movie. The Robocop really had nothing to do with the rest of the plot. I think the plot was about Tommy rescuing the captured drug agents, but I can’t be certain.

To sum up: I was uber entertained by the bunny hopping vampires shooting fireworks out of their arms. Boobs were the only redeeming highlight in husband unit’s opinion. He said this movie required four beers. I said three. So we settle out at 3.5.

 

If you’re so inclined, you can watch it for free on YouTube:

YouTube player

 

 

The Black Demon: Monster #MovieReview

I love my shark movies, and I love some bad movies. One of my favorites is Sharknado.

The Black Demon is no Sharknado. It didn’t have enough shark or a high enough body count. On the plus side, it was a really, really huge shark. Actually, it was a megalodon. There have been three movies in recent times featuring this giant shark, and they have all failed to truly take advantage of the size of the shark. If you’re going to have a giant shark as a monster, well, have it do things only a giant shark can do. Otherwise, why bother having a giant shark?

The premise of the movie is interesting. Environmental changes in the area brought on by the oil rig just off the coast, cause the ancient gods to awaken and the giant shark. The acting wasn’t great – the emotional reactions were way over the top, there were shifts in the logic of the story that didn’t make sense, and there were scenes just stuck in there for the sake of a message. Honestly, I don’t mind those things because they were funny, and a decent bad movie should make you laugh. There was a speech that reminded me of Jurassic Park and another that reminded me of Armageddon. Both excellent disaster/monster movies, by the way. I give the moviemakers bonus points for invoking thoughts of better movies.

I knew from the narrated explanation at the beginning of the movie (like they did in many old sci-fi movies) that this fell into the B movie category. Only B movies do that sort of thing, so I had hopes for this one falling into the bad but fun category.

However, there is no saving the fact that the shark has hardly any screen time and not very many people get eaten. The body parts in the water suggest there was a feast at some point, but we don’t get to see it. There is a fair amount of tension and drama. But because we don’t get to see the shark very often, I have to give this a 2.5 beer rating. I would go lower, but the movie is watchable for the most part and kind of fun if you don’t expect too much. The lack of shark is just disappointing.

It’s currently streaming on Amazon.

Here’s the trailer:

YouTube player

 

 

Rampage was a Spectacular Thrill Ride #Scifi #MovieReview

I found this gem on Hulu. How did I not know of Rampage before it was streaming? It has giant creatures. I love giant creature movies.

Rampage, starring the charismatic Dwayne Johnson, is a thrilling creature feature that delivers exactly what fans of giant monster movies crave. Packed with jaw-dropping action, impressive visual effects, and a touch of humor, Rampage embarks on a high-stakes battle between a gigantic gorilla, a gigantic wolf, and a gigantic… (I’ll leave that a surprise like the movie did) and humanity.

Davis Okoye (Dwayne Johnson), a primatologist has a remarkable bond with a gentle albino gorilla named George. When a genetic experiment goes awry, George, along with other animals, is transformed into something enormous and highly destructive. Yay! Although, I felt a bit bad for George. Davis, teaming up with a brilliant genetic engineer named Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris), races against time to save George and prevent the catastrophic consequences of these rampaging beasts.

Destruction and mayhem, and the creatures did many surprising and fun things. Yay! No singing or dancing, but there were jokes and heartfelt moments. Lots of things eaten and ruined by the beasts. Yay!

If you love this genre, treat yourself to this movie. I highly recommend it, and beer is optional to enjoy it.

 

Here’s the trailer:

YouTube player

 

 

Ad Astra: #MovieReview #scifi #sciencefiction

 

 

Ad Astra has stunning cinematography and strong performances from Brad Pitt and the supporting cast. The world-building and attention to detail in the space setting is also impressive.

However, the plot of the film can be confusing at times, with certain elements feeling underdeveloped or not fully explored. For example, the scene with the monkeys on the space station felt out of place and disconnected from the main storyline. It had nothing to do with the rest of the story. So, it shouldn’t have been there, or it should have connected to the later plot. It was probably just added for some excitement in an otherwise rather slow plot.

While the film had some compelling moments, the overall story felt somewhat lacking in terms of depth and complexity. Ad Astra has received mixed reactions from critics and audiences. Some criticized it for being overly contemplative and slow-paced, with a story that lacks coherence and depth. I’m with that camp of opinions. But I did like spending time in space with Brad Pitt. That’s not too shabby.

In the end, Ad Astra may be worth a watch for those interested in space films or those who appreciate impressive visual effects. However, it may not be the most satisfying viewing experience for those looking for a strong and cohesive storyline. So for that failing, and it’s a big one, I give it a 2 beer rating. 2 beers will make it more fun. I actually bought this DVD a few years ago. Took us a while to watch. Now I know why we weren’t too excited.

 

Here’s the trailer:

YouTube player

 

The Neighbors: Streaming #MovieReview #scifi #sciencefiction #comedy

The Neighbors is a charming and enjoyable TV series that blends science fiction and comedy in a unique and entertaining way. The show centers around a family that moves to a seemingly normal suburb, only to discover that their neighbors are actually aliens from another planet.

Despite the initial culture shock, the human and alien characters soon develop a close bond, leading to plenty of comedic moments as they navigate their differences and learn from each other. The humor is lighthearted and often silly, making it a great choice for viewers who want a show that’s easy to watch and will make them laugh.

One of the strengths of The Neighbors is its cast, which includes a number of talented actors who bring their characters to life in a fun and engaging way. The show also benefits from strong writing and a willingness to take risks with its storytelling, resulting in a series that feels fresh and original.

 

Overall, The Neighbors is a fun and entertaining TV series that is well worth a watch. Its blend of science fiction and comedy is unique, and the show’s humor and heart make it a great choice for viewers who want to watch something that’s both funny and heartfelt. It’s currently streaming on Hulu and beer is optional to have fun watching.

Here’s the trailer:

YouTube player

 

 

The Space Between Us: #MovieReview #scifi #sciencefiction

 

The Space Between Us starts off with an interesting premise, following the journey of the first human born on Mars as he travels to Earth in search of his father and experiences life outside of his Martian colony for the first time. However, the film quickly becomes bogged down by implausible plot points and a lackluster storyline.

One major issue is the premise itself, which requires a suspension of disbelief. The idea of a pregnant astronaut being allowed to go on a mission to Mars is realistically inaccurate. Astronauts are carefully monitored for health before being launched into space. I doubt a pregnancy would have slipped past the doctors. Whatev. We get to space and she has the baby. Of course, she dies in childbirth. Sorry, for that spoiler, but it’s not that interesting of a plot point. The child being raised on Mars is interesting. So we had to get through that absurdity to something interesting.

The kid, of course, wants to go to Earth. He’s a teenager now. Here, they stayed true to science. Mars has lower gravity, so he can’t go to Earth without dying. But eventually, they find a way to make a trip possible.

While the story briefly picks up once the protagonist, Gardner, arrives on Earth, it quickly becomes tedious as he and his love interest spend an excessive amount of time on the run from authorities. The film’s pacing suffers as a result, with long stretches of the movie feeling drawn out and unengaging.

Overall, while The Space Between Us may be of interest to fans of sci-fi romance films, it falls short in terms of logic and storytelling. It’s very predictable. Viewers who are willing to overlook its flaws may enjoy the film’s optimistic message about the power of human connection, but others may find themselves fast-forwarding through large parts of the movie like we did. The ending was satisfying. So, I’ll give it that. Still, it may take more than 3 beers to enjoy this one. The Husband Unit pretty much hated it, and even I got tired of it. Some crazy dance numbers would have helped… or land sharks… or dinosaurs eating people… maniacal robots… giant insects… a shorter sagging middle.. a few twists and turns… more logic… more time in space. Currently streaming on Netflix.

Okay, I probably didn’t make this sound appealing, but here’s the trailer:

YouTube player

 

 

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