Mars Needs Women: #SciFi #MovieReview

science fiction movie reviewCue dramatic music… “There’s only one thing we can do… wait.”

After watching a loudspeaker for longer than anyone would care to, this was the solution to Mars’s threat to Earth.

And then, the Martians come. After a lengthy speech as to why Earth is dangerous to Martians (mostly the greater gravity, which is accurate) and what they will need, the Martians’ first stop is to a… filling station. Watch out! The Martians have a very effective, Kirk-like karate chop maneuver. And no lock is a match for their air knives.

I really dug the red things over their ears and the painted bodysuits where the paint was gloppy and peeling off.

After the Martians steal some money, a car, and clothes and pick up some slang, they go cruising. There’s dancing! When they end up in a gentleman’s club, there’s a sexy lady dancing in a gown.

The Martians can beam around, so I’m not sure why they needed a car. They can also hypnotize you and make you do what they want. And, I guess the Martians are really scary when looking at you because the women started screaming. The Martian dude was just standing there. What’s scary about that? I must have missed something… maybe I was hypnotized by the loudspeaker.

Women start disappearing, and the Martians are pretty discerning. And what is going on with the Earth defense dudes? They’ve been in a conference all day without even a coffee break! Oh no!


One of the Martians falls in love but leaves his lady behind. The other women are sedated and taken to Mars. It ends with the quote The Earth is the cradle of mankind, but mankind cannot stay in the cradle forever. Okay. I guess that means it’s okay that women were stolen by Martians.

This wasn’t a horrible watch, but it could have been better. It did make me laugh a few times, and there was dancing. I’m not sure sexy dancing counts as it wasn’t a full-fledged dance number kind of thing that I enjoy most. I would give this a 2 beer rating. You might enjoy it with less, but… all you can do is… wait! Yeah, I watch these movies so you don’t have to.

You can watch it on YouTube, and it’s also streaming on Paramount.

Here’s the trailer:


YouTube player





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